Selfishness. It is the ugly root of many parenting problems. I've realized it, seen it and many times overcame it but it will rear its ugly head again on a regular basis. I've heard it said many times by my father my #1 goal in life is to raise godly children. This sounds so good to a new parent. Me too! Let's grab the list of rules and guidelines and get to work. Use this training method, say this not that, allow this and not that.......screechhhh and halt. Every method I've tried, every truth and principal I seek to follow while perfectly sound and good will be a failure if I don't have the selfless-ness to PATIENTLY follow through DAILY.
Why do I have these words in bold? I think every parent knows. Because those two words are the hardest part of parenting. It's not hard to set rules. It's not hard to come up with plans. It's hard to calmly in the face of defiance, attitude, child like indifference stay the course with a loving kind Christ like spirit every day. Recently while reading a wonderful book on mothering realized in the first chapter that many of my frustrations in parenting were due to selfish desires.
"Grrrr......why do I have to tell you so many times!?"
What's my real frustration here? Why do I have to take MY precious time to deal with your disobedience. Why do I have to interrupt MY schedule or my relaxation to correct or even love when the time arises. As parents we know many times the reason behind the outward behavior isn't always defiance but a cry for attention. I'm sure we can all see the thread of selfishness in every though and every word.
Little did I know the day those babies were born began a journey in shaving more and more of me away. Not the good and God intended creation he made me to be but the selfish only concerned with myself part. From the day they came home and kept me awake for hours thoughtout many months of nursing to potty breaks in the middle of the night, times of correction, times of teaching, times of loving. All of these times slowly work to take away the constant thought of Me, Me, Me. But I'll tell you ladies this only happens if a willing vessel allows the molding.
Yes, I've realized in the last few months how selfishness can wreck and ruin our peace of mind. But I have also realized that if I don't daily lay my selfishness down at the altar and pick up the commission of motherhood Satan will have victory in my life. Often it is easy to think, YES, one week of successful calm peaceful parenting! I'm a success, line up ladies autographs are free! Until the very next day we trip and land flat on our face.
I'm not saying to not take time for yourself or most definitely not encourage we cheat our spouse in this journey to self-less parenting. Every good things must have its place but to have any measure of success I must realize God has given me a huge and wonderful task of raising these wonderful children for his glory and that will only be accomplished if I stop running my life as a train speeding towards all of my desires.
Challenge: Parenting is not about ME! It isn't about me being happy or me being pleased. It's about pouring my life and love selflessly into my children so that they can grow to be godly children that please God with their loves. Sometimes that means the best thing I can do for them is to love their daddy or take some time for myself but I must make those choices with wisdom and not laziness. To do any of these things I must daily meet with Christ and hand over my heart and my desires. I must submit myself to his will and guidance. Without a doubt when I do he will guide me to be the best mother possible.
Help this mother Lord be the best I can possibly be for you and for them.
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Great post!!
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